Have you ever looked at another guy and wished you had what he has? Somehow the way he carries himself with such a superior sense of confidence and maybe even arrogance makes him seem like he possesses everything any guy could ever wish or ask.
The stereotypical term to describe a male who fits this bill is an ‘alpha male.’ This term is linked to a level of dominance that allows an alpha male to get what he wants without breaking a sweat.
The term originated anywhere between 1900 and 1950. This self-constructed social hierarchy had put certain males on the pedestal and defined them as ‘real men’ due to specific characteristics they display.
However, in recent years, research and survey findings have suggested that those ‘alpha male’ characteristics do not lead to very fulfilling, sustainable, and meaningful relationships.
Thus, this has altered the way society dictates what an alpha male is. The following are certain traits a modern-day alpha male possesses.
Traits of an Alpha Male
Alpha males have a lot of traits, but which ones are the most prominent? Which traits should you care about the most?
Some characteristics below might surprise you, but many of them have been shown through research and survey to be more attractive to potential partners and more likely to lead to successful long-term relationships, friendships, and career endeavors.
Courageous
There’s a well-known quote by Nelson Mandela; “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” It is exceptionally accurate. Who doesn’t have their doubts, insecurities, and fears they struggle with?
An alpha male has the boldness and courage to take risks, even when he struggles with the fear of failure. Most importantly, when he does take a chance but fails, he is not permanently discouraged from stepping out of his comfort zone in the future.
Of course, this does not mean that you should always blindly take risks and especially so when it comes to something important like your finances. Sometimes though, it’s worth a shot, so go ahead and ask out that cute coworker you have had your eyes on for months.
At the end of the day, it is often more fulfilling to have lived and loved than to recall and regret.
Disciplined
Discipline is what pushes you to drag your butt to the gym, even on days when you just don’t feel like it. When your boss gives you a job, you ensure that it is completed with utmost professionalism before the deadline.
Discipline is desirable to prospective employers and partners because it gives them a great impression that you are dedicated, trustworthy, and a man of your words. What they need you to do gets done, and that is how trust is built and maintained in relationships.
One of the best ways to improve your self-discipline is to start small with baby steps and give yourself positive rewards with each milestone achieved.
Another good tip is to allow yourself to go through discomfort training. Do not run away from financial problems or projects and distract yourself with video games. Instead, push yourself gradually towards facing and handling challenging, painful tasks with more discipline.
Action-oriented
You have heard of the phrase, “actions speak louder than words.” Well, have you ever encountered men who overpromise and underdeliver? They will guarantee you the most extreme and unbelievable things and succeed in convincing you, but when you need them to come through, you are left hanging.
Alpha males will get tasks done no matter how menial the job is. This ranges from grocery shopping to stock up for the week or starting on a project even though the deadline is months away.
He walks the talk, and you eventually learn that he is trustworthy and dependable. Improving on this ties closely with being disciplined. Being able to manage time and focus attention is one of the best ways to make yourself action-oriented.
When dealing with problems, alpha males are not afraid to take the reign and ensure that solutions are found, even when no one else wants to bear any responsibility. Sometimes, problems can be solved with mere words. Other times, solid actions are required to reach solutions.
Goal-driven
These statistics have shown that 92% of New Year’s resolutions are wrecked before January 15. To avoid this, set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, and realistic. Write them down or let people you trust come around to support you. This alone increases your chances of success by at least 50 percent.
The most challenging part about being goal-driven is having the perseverance and determination to achieve them. Alpha males will have realistic goals set before them and will strive to resist any temptation or overcome any obstacles that stand in their way of successfully attaining them.
Being goal-driven is a step above just being action-oriented. Focusing on a goal feels fulfilling and knowing that you’re aiming for something is more rewarding than just completing day-to-day tasks.
The best way to achieve those goals is to device and pen down an action plan, which involves planning out your daily to-do list and tasks. Don’t pressure yourself into doing amazing on the first day either! Again, start with something simple. Take baby steps.
Confident
Confidence is incredibly attractive and an indispensable trait of an alpha male. There is an abundance of reasons why people tend to be compelled and drawn to individuals who carry themselves confidently, regardless if they’re a man or woman.
Males who are confident invoke feelings of security in their partners and do not miserly bring down others to make themselves feel superior.
The most important thing is to realize that your most significant competitor is yourself. Other than that, being more gracious and patient by reminding yourself of past successes are reasonable steps to take. These tips are especially vital to prevent failure and disappointment from demolishing your confidence.
Here’s an important key note to remember when it comes to confidence. Being confident doesn’t mean everyone will like you. It means that you’ll be fine even if they don’t. Confidence is the ability to feel unwavered because you are secure with what you’re trying to do and who you’re trying to be.
Knows how to draw boundaries and say ‘no’
An alpha male recognizes and understands what his limits are. Setting and sustaining boundaries is an undervalued skill that works wonders for building healthy relationships free from resentment and discomfort.
To set good boundaries, tune in to your own feelings. Predetermine all your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual limitations. When you land yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable and stressed, never hesitate to be direct and remove yourself if necessary.
Also, don’t allow saying ‘no’ to invoke feelings of guilt or remorse. An alpha male is firm with what he will tolerate and what he will not. As they say, “gentlemen are polite but they aren’t suckers.”
So, the next time you’re on a date with a partner who is pushing and disrespecting your physical boundaries, firmly tell them you’re not ready. If they mock you or continue disregarding your boundaries, drop them like a hot potato.
Knows how to respect boundaries
On the other hand, alpha males don’t not selfishly trap others in a position where they feel frightened, insecure, or threatened. They respect boundaries inside and out, theirs and others.
To respect the boundaries others have set, don’t shy away from open and healthy communication to clarify their limitations. Taking the first step to ask someone if they’re comfortable with what you’re doing can be a huge sigh of relief for both parties, especially if you’re talking to an introvert. Even if they are comfortable with it, at least they appreciate that you were kind enough to ask.
Always be alert of any verbal cues or body language that might show that they are feeling uncomfortable. If you catch them stepping back every few minutes or so, you might be too much in their personal space.
Needless to say, never resort to manipulating, threatening, or blackmailing people into compromising just to satisfy your own needs and wants.
Maintains his physical health
More than those defined six-packs or massive guns, people are allured by those who take care of themselves well. While personality is why people stay in relationships, physical attraction undoubtedly plays a huge role at first.
Aside from the bulging biceps, men who groom themselves well and take good care of their physical health are husband material.
Practicing healthy lifestyle habits will boost your fitness, well-being, and confidence. Learn how to value the body you have (but don’t obsess over it). Abstain from things that are bound to ruin your health, and most importantly, practice good personal hygiene habits.
Doesn’t let anyone boss him around
Again, there is a difference between fulfilling your responsibilities and going the extra mile for someone who is plainly taking advantage of you.
To repeat: “Gentlemen are polite but they aren’t suckers.”
An alpha male will not let anyone boss him around. This does not give you the green light to ditch and neglect work given by your boss or refuse to run any errands from your mother. In contrast, be alert to recognize when people are using you purely for their own benefit while completely disregarding your needs, feelings, and well-being.
Stand up for yourself and refuse to tolerate any form of abuse or disrespect, even when it comes from those in higher authority than you. This might seem daunting at first, but respecting yourself enough to not be bossed around is one of the first steps to realizing what your worth is.
High control of his emotions
Have you ever read a ‘romantic’ teen fanfiction book or watched trending movies that glamorize abuse and violence? Modern media has intoxicated young people to think that a man who gets jealous very quickly and has frequent episodes of uncontrollable rage is a man who truly loves you and is passionate about you.
Please don’t mistake those attributes for love. Just because you’re edgier and angry often doesn’t mean you’re more in touch with your emotions. It doesn’t make you a real human being either. One of the best ways to control your anger is to give yourself a timeout, especially when you know you are about to blow up.
You want to be a master of your emotions, not the other way round. When met with conflict or disagreements, always understand that communication is a two-way street. Try your best to facilitate healthy conversations to solve that conflict.
Lastly, know when to seek help. If your anxiety, grief, or anger is getting out of hand, don’t let your ego deter you from seeking professional counseling and therapy.
How to Spot an Alpha Male
A true alpha male is likely to check most of these boxes. Don’t despair if you don’t. The most important attribute not included in the list is this. An alpha male learns from his mistakes and always strives to improve himself for the better.
How Do You Become an Alpha Male?
It’s not easy because everyone struggles with their own shortcomings, insecurities, and addiction. The most important way to achieve success in this area is to understand and reflect on your personal motive behind it.
Are you looking to gain popularity, wealth, and multiple partners from being an alpha male? If you are, then you might be looking at the wrong place.
On the other hand, do you desire to build and sustain more meaningful and longer-lasting relationships or friendships? Or maybe you are striving to be a better team player in your workplace and achieve goals you were never even bold enough to dream of?
Take note of what you wish to experience or achieve. These motives are likely to give you the perseverance, encouragement, and endurance to become a better version of yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions about Alpha Males
Is an alpha male a real man?
The common myth is that an ‘alpha male’ is a real man. To dispel this myth, you must realize that the term ‘alpha male’ is just a term constructed by society that is extremely shallow and stereotypical.
A label will not define who you are. More importantly, it’s your actions, words, principles, and ambitions that make you a unique individual. There’s no need to live by society’s labels, hierarchy, and standards because these typically breed self-hate, lack of confidence, and unnecessary competition.
What is an alpha male personality?
Society defines this as a dominating, demanding, self-confident male who gets everything he wants.
However, these qualities will not lead to rewarding outcomes. The modern-day ‘alpha male’ personality consists of characteristics and habits that lead to good and healthy relationships. These traits motivate you to achieve your goals and ambitions and boost your personal growth and development.
How does an alpha male behave?
To summarize, an alpha male knows when to push forward and when to pull back. He knows how to chase his ambitions, how to treat others with care and respect, and how to protect his own physical and mental well-being.
Finally, he can genuinely celebrate the success of other males because he is confident in his value and worth and is not in meaningless self-proclaimed competition with others.
A Final Word From The Trending Man
Nobody has attained perfection, meaning that there is always room for self-improvement and development. Learning how to incorporate these traits in your daily life is a practical way to gain a more fulfilling and rewarding life as a whole.
